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Behind The Music
Editor’s Note: The following piece was originally published in Chalice of Rock Magazine by
contributing rock journalist Good Time Jon Ritchie in the spring of 2006. It is reprinted here
with little to no permission, and with questionable credibility.
SCUM GUMBO: DRINKING DEEP FROM THE CHALICE OF ROCK!
by
Good Time Jon Ritchie
Scum Gumbo, above all else, is a band brought together by fate. While little is known of the individual member’s early lives,
one essential and shared thread has remained the only recorded explanation as to how these three ingredients came together
to make the ultimate rock and roll broth. Immersed deeply in the musical landscape of the late 1980’s -- although not actually
performing music -- Sikki Nixx, Tommy Styx and Slush would have their lives permanently
changed with a little help from three common muses: unemployment, Mardi Gras, and a Boflex infomercial.
As rock ruled the charts toward the end of the 1980’s, a reemergence of rockstar idolatry became evident. Bands such as
Mötley Crüe, Van Halen, Guns N’ Roses, Def Leppard, and even rock veterans Kiss were leading the way for what appeared
to be an unstoppable revolution of sorts. The “rock gods” were being reinvented, and fans all over the world were lining up
just to catch a glimpse of these larger than life personalities and revel in their top-notch musicianship. However, one fact
remained the same: even these gods needed angels, assistants in every aspect of the word, from wardrobe to hair,
from props to security.
One such young man more than willing to lend a hand was future Scum Gumbo bassist Sikki Nixx. While employed by
Mötley Crüe as their “laundry tech”, Sikki was privileged enough to share a different brand of intimacy with the band members
and their significant others. Night after night the young Sikki Nixx dove in with both fists, washing the headbands, scrubbing
the spandex, shining the leather and studs. But perhaps more poignant was the relationship Sikki nurtured with other,
more specific articles of clothing: namely, the underwear of a certain then wife of bassist Nikki Sixx, the lovely Donna D’Errico.
Alone one night amidst a pile of Mötley wash loads, Sikki happened across the well-worn panties of D’Errico, and before
his better instincts could guide him otherwise, the silken bundle had found its way pressed tightly beneath his nostrils.
As if the shock of his own actions was not enough, Sikki was stunned to realize that he hadn’t been alone at all, but was
rather the victim of an elaborate sting designed to weed out unwanted staff. From behind a curtain emerged all four band
members, and after what has been described only as a certain amount of “rough-housing”, Sikki was officially relieved of his duties.
A similar fate would bestow future drummer Tommy Styx during stint as the “hair grip” for a then troubled Van Halen.
Tommy worked feverishly to maintain the follicle integrity of the Van Halen brothers, so much so in fact that Tommy’s
services were coveted by the boys to the extent of mean-spirited pranking.
Camps were divided in the band, fueled by a growing animosity for lead singer David Lee Roth. As a result, during an
unfortunate evening styling session with Roth, Tommy reached for a bottle of what he thought was high powered conditioner
meant to, as Styx himself would later explain, “bring back the original blonde luster to a head of hair so frizzed by unnecessary
blow drying that it was almost beyond repair.” Little did Tommy know, however, that a vindictive Alex Van Halen had switched
bottles, filling an old conditioner canister with diesel fuel straight from the band’s tour bus. Sadly, as everyone watched,
Roth sat stunned as he unraveled his head towel to reveal what was left of his hair, which existed only in sporadic strands that
hung from various areas of his scalp. Upon seeing the damage, Roth leapt from his chair to a chorus of laughter from the rest of
the band. “I’m boesley-boesley-bald!” he screamed before turning to an equally humiliated Tommy Styx. “You’re fired!” he said,
pointing a trembling index finger. It is said that to this very day, Tommy Styx has been held responsible for David Lee Roth’s
seemingly inexplicable hair loss.
And following the now historic pattern of job insecurity was future Scum Gumbo guitarist Slush while on tour with Guns N’ Roses,
where as “senior barricade wrangler”, it was his sole responsibility to make sure the crowd control barricades at the foot of
the stage were latched properly.
Disoriented by a chance meeting with Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash -- with whom Slush had developed an unhealthy obsession --
the young tech incorrectly latched two prominent barricades located directly in front of singer Axl Rose. Distracted by the
less than obvious oversight, Rose stopped the show. “Thanks to the lame ass barricades,” he addressed the crowd of thousands,
“I’m going home!” Rose then threw his microphone to the ground and stormed off stage. Slush was fired by
a singing telegram the following day.
These three separate incidents, although amazing in their similarities, was but only the beginning of a chain of coincidences
that would eventually lead to the landmark chance meeting in New Orleans that would start it all.
Years later, as Mardi Gras 2002 approached, the three future members of Scum Gumbo made separate yet identical decisions
to join the festivities in the Crescent City. Inspired by the 1969 film Easy Rider, all three members scored Harley-Davidsons
(sales records actually reflect that all three bikes were purchased only days apart in three separate cities), to head down to
New Orleans just in time for Fat Tuesday. Arriving early and finding refuge in separate parts of town, the three members settled
in only to glimpse the exact same television broadcast -- an infomercial for the Bowflex exercise machine, in which the
spokesperson was now “living his dream” by playing in a rock band with his new found Boflex body. What followed was a
three-way stampede to the local gym where paths would cross, and history would be made.
As fate would dictate, the gym was home to only one such exercise machine, a truth that not only presented an obvious
problem, but which also triggered a full-fledged brawl between the three then strangers. Only hours later, Sikki, Tommy
and Slush were placed in Orleans Parish Prison, more ominously known as the O.P.P. And it was in the tank, as it were,
that the boys officially met for the first time, engaging in brotherly conversation, and sharing stories of their lives on the road.
Released on their own recognizance and dressed again in their motorcycle leather, the guys ventured out together into
the New Orleans night, desperate for some drinks to smooth down the edges of their latest, mutual episode. Deciding on a
secluded bar in the heart of the New Orleans French Quarter, the guys were abruptly stopped at the door by a bouncer that
claimed there was a band this evening, and that a ten dollar cover was necessary to gain entrance. And it was here, at the
threshold of the darkened and seedy music club, that Sikki Nixx himself uttered the now infamous four words: “We are the band!”
Once inside, the three members climbed onto the stage, and by gut instinct alone, reached for their instruments of fate
(the real band that night had in fact set up and sound checked before leaving for a last minute bite to eat). Prompted by an
audience heckle to “play something”, the guys spontaneously launched into a rendition of the Kiss classic “Rock and Roll All Night.
Upon finishing with an extended power cord and a hissing, crashing symbol, the room became desperately quiet.
The guys looked to one another, pleased with a job well done, when as legend would have it, from across the room, a chair scraped
against the wooden planks. Turning to the distraction, the boys were astonished to see Rex, the king of Mardi Gras himself,
standing in full royal regalia. Again the room fell a deathly silent before Rex explosively kicked his table over and raised his staff
to the direction of the stage. And after drawing a deep and regal breath, Rex declared: “I deem thee Scum Gumbo!” It is further
said that after the royal declaration, Sikki Nixx removed his bass and walked to the microphone. “But why, King Rex?” he solemnly asked.
“Why Scum Gumbo?”
Rex thought for a moment, and then shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said quietly before turning and making his way to the door.
And such is the city of New Orleans, home to Scum Gumbo, where gaudy royalty rules, where the weather is open to discussion,
and where rock legends drink deep from the chalice of rock!
Tommy Styx AKA Nathan DeLord - Drums
Sikki Nixx AKA John Farrell- Bass
Slush AKA Billy Barkley - Guitars / Vocals
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